Money can't buy you everthing

 I was just sitting one day, worked up because of the professional life and the work pressure during the lockdown, making me realize that how I had distanced myself from people to complete my work and meet my deadlines. And my hands suddenly stopped pressing my keyboard and I noticed that the only motivating factor was money. 

If we come to think of it money has been a driving force in everyone's life. We work beyond our limits to earn money, which is definitely for a better lifestyle, to give our family all that they want and to meet their needs. We are constantly in a space where we upgrade ourselves, try and jump for a better position, better salary, more profits, more money.

Well, I buy the fact, that money is really important but it’s not the only thing which is important. Take a moment and think about it when was it when you spent time with your family or your loved ones, without your phone ringing. When was it that you were completely there for your children or your parents or spouse?

While we all run behind money, we often tend to forget how beautiful life is and there’s more to life than just money. And there’s a lot that money takes than just sweat to earn it. 

I come across people who are passionate about something but are not able to pursue it full-time as they need to earn, and for this, they sacrifice their passion, something which is really close to their heart and something that they are good at. It is really easy for them to choose a mediocre life than to follow their passion and be extraordinary.

A person would pursue CA, CFA, Law and constantly run behind gaining knowledge or to be precise a degree so that he can earn well. And it is not wrong, because that's how our mind has been trained to earn and save. One important thing which was never taught was to earn to save and spend. We don't spend half the amount that we earn on ourselves on something that we want to do. We are constant torn between earnings, meeting needs, and then saving. 

I had recently visited a mall and came across a child who wanted to buy chocolates for him, but his mother shouted and didn't buy him the chocolate. Apparently they were earning to give him a better future but isn't chocolate worth the smile that the kid would have if he got it. I'm sure at this point he didn't care for his future because for him that chocolate was more important at this point.

We all might have come across a situation where we want to go out on a holiday, but then we are busy calculating the budget of the trip. If we want to stay in a four-star hotel, the budget drives us mad and we come down to 3 stars or even a 2-star hotel. We wish to travel by flight but we come down to train to keep it within our budgets. We might even think of spending that money over there having good food, clubbing but rarely do we realize that we don't even do that because the budget has been back of our mind and then we start compromising on our trip. 

 Why was that money earned, 'FOR YOU RIGHT' or let's put it right 'FOR YOUR FAMILY' then why can't you spend it on yourself or your family? Why can't you just be you without thinking about the monetary aspect behind it?

I know a person who had saved ample money for his children and when they got the amount and that life which their father had seen for them, they couldn't handle that money. They had to sell their house and settle in a smaller house, pay off a few debts. One was into alcohol consumption which is where most of the savings went. I'm sure this was definitely what their father wanted. We probably don't even know who might actually use that money and how would it be used post your gone. Would it be used for something good or something like drugs, smoke, or alcohol

Isn't it good to probably give this time that you spend working for a better salary and position given to your children and your spouse? Won't a smile on their face and that moment be more precious? Wouldn't it be really good to go out and spend that money on yourself without the baggage of savings? Because experiences are what we need to live for. Why can't we create memories and moments that we could cherish, that we could probably talk about when we are probably 80.

It's really easy to follow the norms that have been set by society it takes courage to live for yourself as per your terms and conditions. It takes courage to once live for your dreams and the life you want.

We are so engrossed chasing money that we forget there's no harm to slow down in life, there is no harm waiting for the opportunity and there's no harm to be there for your family and spend. Savings will follow, the money will come to you at the right time. In my point of view, it's really important to know where to spend money because that would motivate and make you realize from where you need to earn money.

Money can't buy us everything, it can't put a smile on our face, it probably can help you buy things that would bring a smile on your face but a temporary one. It can't buy you time when you're at the last stage of your life to spend some time with your family. 

There was a time where barter trade existed, where people would trade grains or something which they had in ample to get something that they wanted. Money was never a matter of concern then, there was peace because you were not doing different things to get the things you wanted. It was comparatively a satisfying and more fulfilling life than what it is now.

Here I don't mean that we don't need to earn money, but definitely not at a cost where we regret not doing a few things that we wanted to. In my opinion, money is worthless without the importance that we give it. It's important to probably understand that we humans make money and money isn't making us. Like literally we humans are printing it.

Good or Bad- Who Decides??

We have all been brought up with a mentality of 'Do good to people even if they aren't, as goodness pays off''

And every time I hear there is a smile on my face and my heart is filled with a word, it travels like a bubble from my heart to my mouth and that is 'FUCK YOU'

And this reaction is not because of the feeling of hatred towards someone, I cannot trust a society who asks me to be 'good to people who are bad' and on the contrary tell me that 'Karma hits back'

It's like living in society where people want other people to suffer for their Karma and then stopping this process by saying be good to people. It is like a thief is trying to steal something from a corrupt politician but the cops come in and arrest the thief.

This doesn't mean that I don't believe in being good or doing good, it simply means I don't stand by the ideology of being good to everyone especially the ones who have hurt you.

We all might have somewhere in life had this experience wherein we were not treated right be it by your family, friends or relatives who are someone you cannot ignore, doesn't mean that we need to be good obviously because you haven't been treated well, there is a past which might not be good and I believe its completely fine if you are not in that zone of seeing that person again. There might be instances where you come across, which doesn't mean that you need to have those feelings or that need to be cordial again.

Unfortunately we live in a society where we have always been thought about how to be socially acceptable, but no one would ask you to be good to yourself.

The problem here is we don't really acknowledge the fact of life and try and remain blindfolded always. We as individuals can see and acknowledge good things that happen, but we choose to remain blindfolded where there are differences. I believe there is always a reason of past being past, or you not having a good experience with someone, and that is what needs to be acknowledged. There is no need to get back to the same shit just because your good. 

If we think according to our mythology 'Kalyug' is what we are currently in, which basically means that atrocities and unfair behaviour would be really common here. If I put my thoughts clearly it would be like world consists of Assholes and You are going to be one person who would do good to them. The world doesn't need this goodness. You have all the right to be an Asshole to an Asshole, there is no saying 'An eye for an eye makes the world blind' true in today's day.

There have been instances, where in a girl is molested by her relative, molested by her father yet she is expected to be good to them since they are elder to her. Is that what is really needed?

Think of it honestly and the answer is 'NO'. Yet there is a constant pressure on her to be good and cordial with them, we won't think what is her thought process or how disgusted she might be feeling even seeing them. But there is no way out since they are her relatives she has to be cordial and adjust. 

Is this what being good really means, because if this means being good and socially acceptable I don't think being good is really worth it.

Yes, you need to be good and considerate for a few people who you are genuinely attached to, that is where your loyalty lies and they are someone who would never hurt you or have your back. It's not blood or family relations that should determine your behaviour. 

And most importantly it's really important for you to be good to one person under any circumstances and that is 'YOU'. No one would probably treat you right other than you yourself. It's really important to understand your experiences and then determine what to react to someone. It's not what you've been taught but it's what you learn in the life and that's what is probably important. It is important to have your views rather than someone teaching you how to be.

In a world of Assholes, if your a comparatively a lesser asshole, trust me it's good. Because you help Karma do it's role and you do your role of being good.

The Most Overrated word- Love

What is love?

“BEST THING THAT CAN EVER HAPPEN”

This has been preached by all. Your parents tell you, your cousins tell you, your friends and the list never ends.

It’s being preached by bollywood and moreover by yogi as well.

We’ve been psyched with the philosophy of love to the extent that we search for nothing but love. 

There are 3 stages of falling in love which no one told us about

1. Crush
2. Liking
3. Love

It’s not crush anymore, it’s just LOVE.

We end up falling in love and especially this generation where love happens every month or probably every day.

I’ll tell you how love can screw up thing for you.

There is a word called ‘RECIPROCATION’

And the issue is no one has ever thought us about a term called ‘RECIPROCATION’

Probably they too were not aware of it.

For any story to be a love story it’s important that this reciprocation happens from both the ends and not just in your thoughts but in reality.

I’ll tell you where this comes from because it gets difficult to digest if you are rejected. Simple we make up our thoughts and think about that person.

The best way to get close to that person is friendship and know her likes and dislikes.

Most of us have a tendency of changing ourselves once we know this. And the problem of loving a person is majorly that you stop loving yourself. You start blaming and introspecting yourself after every argument even though you weren’t wrong.

Heer-Ranjha, Laila- Majnun, Romeo- Juliet classic examples of true love. 

2 things which we didn’t notice about them was 

a) They didn’t end up being together

b) They didn’t have other problems

They loved each other probably because there were only 2 people in this relation.

But now a relation is not between 2 people but it is between a set of people and situations. This might include your partner's ex, your partner's best friend who hates you and probably even those people who pretend to be your partner's well-wisher but secretly want them. There are times where you might feel restless and probably would want to just go and punch them or ask them to stay out of your life, but trust me the only option you have is to deal with them with a smile(obviously fake).

Trust me this is just the beginning of the problem because this is not the only thing that you're worried about there are other things as well.

Obviously, you're not born with a golden spoon like Romeo, or you cannot write poems for your beloved like Majnun and nor are you as privileged as Ranjha that your family will let you play flute all day long. 

We are common people and we have to slog to earn. When I say slog, I mean work hard to meet our deadlines, deal with new projects and not to forget be ready to hear crap from your superiors even after meeting the deadlines that you were expected to.

Your parents anyway don't like the partner that you're dating and would want your relationship to end at the earliest. So they try and bribe you by showing you pictures of girls/boys who they think would be suitable for you.

All of sudden the relation that you've been happy in feels like a burden. There might be times where you would want to be alone, be at peace with yourself but you cannot. You pick your cell phone and call your partner to talk to them because you are aware of 'your partner's ex, your partner's best friend who hate you and those people who pretend to be your partner's well-wisher but secretly want them'. 

You probably compromise yourself to be available for that person even when you don't want to. There's a constant fear of losing the person just because you weren't available.

You might fight hard to be with the person you’ve always wanted and loved. But the harder you fight the faster you lose. 

That special someone loses all her interest and just walks away with a simple line 'I don't think it's working anymore.' 

And you're back to square one with a lot of unanswered questions in your mind that why did end abruptly was it physical aspect or monetary aspect, was I cheated on or did they find a better looking person or was it love that just faded away.

These questions can never be answered and the harder you try to find answers the more you lose yourself. And the saddest part is getting back that smile on your face, being able to be happy again, finding yourself back takes a lot of time.

But probably they're right 'LOVE IS THE BEST THING THAT CAN EVER HAPPEN'

CRUSH..!!!!

'I chose to love you in silence, for in silence I found no rejection. I chose to love you in my dreams, for in my dreams you'll just be mine.'

Yes that's what exactly a crush is and it hurts saying that this is the most underrated term.

This might sound a bit stupid but yeah crushes are more important and tend to have a better story than love.

This is because you any which ways don’t find love. If you love someone they don’t, if they do you don’t. It’s very difficult to find an equilibrium where both love each other.

Crushes are sweet, there’s no pressure of she/he liking you it’s just you and you’re aware of it.

It’s a sweet relation going on in your mind where she/he’s yours. There’s no competition because It’s like your happiness is in your hand unlike people in relation. You don't need him/her to complete your feelings for her

You don’t need to take extra efforts to impress that person or be with that person, live according to that person.

Even if you see him/her once you’re day is made and if that person smiles trust me you can probably spend 2 days thinking about it.

Small things give you happiness and memories. 

Adjusting your time to see him/her, going to the same place for coffee at the same time where that person comes. 

Or probably seeing him/her when through the window, trying to be the mischievous one so that she notices or probably teasing her with some other person because tumhe toh dude lagna hai.

Most of us hate waiting, but trust me waiting for your crush is the best thing.

Probably we all might have experienced it at some point in time maybe in school, college, classes or office.

Remember continuously Looking at the door or window waiting for her, well the weirdest part is the wait ends with a smile on your face.

Also, we try hard to be close to our crush.

Be it sitting next to her in class or probably going in the same area where she is.

And trust me if we’ve had good friends we exactly knew where our crush was.

The longest conversation which we might have held would be a ‘Hi’, ‘All the best’, ‘Congrats’ but even while doing this we might be blushing.

But for our best friends, she was already their ‘bhabhi’

There’s a lot of innocence when it comes to crushes

And the best part about crushes is that they are usually someone who we ourselves know can never be ours.

But since the entire story is just ours we never lose ‘Apne kahani ke hero to hum hi hai..haar thodi sakte hai’

But then there are a few real-life heroes who actually start dating their crush. These people leave us with two important thoughts.

1. Yeh isse patti kaise?
2. Isse acha toh main hu, try kar leta toh mujhse bhi hojata.

Different people, similar story!!

We all believe that we are different from each other. We tend to differentiate ourselves on the basis of caste and more importantly money. Hindu or muslim, christian or sikh, rich or poor, there’s one thing that keeps us on the same page and that is our life.
During one of my training a gentleman said, "One person who you cannot ever lie, is the person you see in the mirror." I thought it would be an experience if I try to do that and I tried doing so. I was standing in front of the mirror with a fake smile, which soon disappeared, my eyes looked tired and after few seconds I could not even smile. I failed miserably and the only thing that I realised and said was, "This is not me, this cannot be me. This is not what I want to be."
This made me realise that except for our face everything was similar. Similar formal shirt, formal pant a bag, the timings and moreover ' OUR STORY'.
Most of us have one thing in common and that is a dissatisfaction towards what we do. Money has been a driving source for all the decisions that we've been making. There might have been a time when your boss comes and shouts at you for something that you haven't even done, there might be thought of leaving the job but you can't because you are already tied up with things which depend on your job.
Some might have a home loan, some education loan and some might wait for another job to come in so that they don't be jobless. Probably most of us are doing something we never wanted to.
We've been trained to adjust to everything be it good or bad, sensible or not, whether you are good at it or not, as long as you are earning you have to believe that you are good at it and if not you have to become good at it. We are asked to excel in a thing which we don't even care about and will never care about.
We've been constantly running a race to become a mediocre person not knowing where to go and why to go. There is no difference between a rich person and a poor, only the lifestyle is different but both are doing things which they wouldn't want to. And finally, we start complaining that our life has been difficult.
In my opinion, the thing which is most difficult is to follow and do what you always wanted to do. No matter you earn less, or initially, if you don't earn, there is a satisfaction which makes you happy. There would be a smile on your face when you see yourself in the mirror because you would be true to yourself. Money comes to you probably sooner or later, but the person lost is lost. 

Suggestions for mediocrity

The only thing which is free in the world other than air is suggestion. In fact, it is so free in nature that it has become a part of everyone's nature.
You want a suggestion or not, you'll have to hear them and will be expected to follow them. There comes a phase, particularly after 10th standard where everyone suddenly becomes  concerned about you. Everyone comes and suggests which field you should choose. After your 12th standard, there are some more suggestions regarding your career and after your graduation some more. This keeps on continuing throughout. The funniest thing is that these suggestions are very generic but the people who suggest behave in such a way that if they wouldn't have given this suggestion you would have been clueless about what to do in life. In fact, most of the suggestions are what we know.
Their suggestions would be like you're in science, study hard to get good marks in your 12th. After that, you can get into engineering or probably become a doctor.
Some of them try to test your patience by giving suggestions. Once, someone came to me and suggested me to do CA, the next day the same person suggested me to do MBA. And I was like, " I'll give you a suggestion, please stop suggesting."
Your parents want you to do something productive in life, which means that they will ask everyone the come across to give you suggestions. Your uncle, aunt, cousins, grandfather, grandmother all start giving suggestions, mostly irrelevant.
I've realised one thing which is imperative to be mentioned, it is always easy to suggest rather than preaching.
Your family would tell someone to pursue something, but if you want to pursue the same thing they would oppose it.
Everyone who suggests tries to take you one step toward a mediocre life. Because there are thousand of people giving similar suggestions and advices.
Throughout my life, I've received one suggestion which wasn't stupid and that was, " IF YOU DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, DON'T SPEND A MINUTE DOING IT."
Probably this is one thing which wouldn't lead to a mediocre life.

GOA- Beyond sex & drugs

GOA, A HELL OF A PLACE.

Alcohol, drugs, prostitution, sex, drug cartels. At least, this is what it has been portrayed as by our relatives, friends and Bollywood. The perception about Goa is so strong that every millennial wants to visit Goa at least once with his/her friends.

And this trip is something every millennial has been making for several years and needless to say it has been an unsuccessful plan.

Whenever you plan to go to Goa and your relatives come to know about it they have a standard reaction, “ bada hogaya hai, aish karega goa jaake hmm.” And your friends would be like, “ Bhai, mast peena udhar aur mere liye bhi koi ladki dhundke aana”

This made me realize two things, 

First, that you’re considered an adult when you plan to go to Goa. Second, your friends think that you’re a drunkard and they are way more confident about you than you are. Your elders think you’re going there to get drunk and take drugs and your friends think you’re going there for sex.

I’ve been to Goa several times, for those who are judging me, I would like to establish a fact that this is not the only thing which can be done there.

Goa is a place where you can be yourself and be rest assured that no one is judging you. There are a lot of nightclubs, alcohol, drugs, however, Goa is way beyond just that.

The people, the culture and the lifestyle are so different that it is a treat to be there. On my recent trip, I witnessed how Diwali was celebrated in Goa. Goans, celebrate Diwali by burning effigies of Narkasur, the demon king who was defeated by Lord Krishna. There are effigies on the road, loud music playing and people dancing on the road. Another festival which is celebrated with grandeur is the carnival which happens somewhere around the month of February or March. Balloons bobbed up in the air and colorful procession featuring horse-drawn carriages, decorated bullock carts, and gorgeously bedecked floats are the highlights of the parade. This parade signifies that Goa comes under the rule of King Momo, who preached " kha, piye aani majja kar."
Beaches, other attraction of Goa is one of the most peaceful places. You can indulge in water sports, go for a swim or probably just lay down on the sunbeds, read a book, listen to music and look at the waves. Sometimes, doing nothing is a better experience. Panjim, the capital of Goa is one place which boasts architectural brilliance. The Portugal architecture with vibrant colors is a treat to watch. 
If you are a shopaholic Goa is a place which would excite you. You'll come across small shops on both the sides of the road selling everything, right from clothes to jewelry. Talking about shopping, Saturday night market is one place where you'll come across a variety of products which are sold by locals and foreigners. Other than this there are performances by bands. Also, you can buy a drink from a bar and enjoy the food. You can also go for shopping at Arambol, one of the uncharted beaches of Goa. The Arambol drum circle and sunset flea market is where you can shop and also enjoy some soothing music. More than the market it is a party, where people bring drums, guitars and meet here every day and make music as the sun sets.
I agree that drugs, prostitution, alcohol are prominent in Goa. However, the beauty of this place lies beyond this.