Good or Bad- Who Decides??

We have all been brought up with a mentality of 'Do good to people even if they aren't, as goodness pays off''

And every time I hear there is a smile on my face and my heart is filled with a word, it travels like a bubble from my heart to my mouth and that is 'FUCK YOU'

And this reaction is not because of the feeling of hatred towards someone, I cannot trust a society who asks me to be 'good to people who are bad' and on the contrary tell me that 'Karma hits back'

It's like living in society where people want other people to suffer for their Karma and then stopping this process by saying be good to people. It is like a thief is trying to steal something from a corrupt politician but the cops come in and arrest the thief.

This doesn't mean that I don't believe in being good or doing good, it simply means I don't stand by the ideology of being good to everyone especially the ones who have hurt you.

We all might have somewhere in life had this experience wherein we were not treated right be it by your family, friends or relatives who are someone you cannot ignore, doesn't mean that we need to be good obviously because you haven't been treated well, there is a past which might not be good and I believe its completely fine if you are not in that zone of seeing that person again. There might be instances where you come across, which doesn't mean that you need to have those feelings or that need to be cordial again.

Unfortunately we live in a society where we have always been thought about how to be socially acceptable, but no one would ask you to be good to yourself.

The problem here is we don't really acknowledge the fact of life and try and remain blindfolded always. We as individuals can see and acknowledge good things that happen, but we choose to remain blindfolded where there are differences. I believe there is always a reason of past being past, or you not having a good experience with someone, and that is what needs to be acknowledged. There is no need to get back to the same shit just because your good. 

If we think according to our mythology 'Kalyug' is what we are currently in, which basically means that atrocities and unfair behaviour would be really common here. If I put my thoughts clearly it would be like world consists of Assholes and You are going to be one person who would do good to them. The world doesn't need this goodness. You have all the right to be an Asshole to an Asshole, there is no saying 'An eye for an eye makes the world blind' true in today's day.

There have been instances, where in a girl is molested by her relative, molested by her father yet she is expected to be good to them since they are elder to her. Is that what is really needed?

Think of it honestly and the answer is 'NO'. Yet there is a constant pressure on her to be good and cordial with them, we won't think what is her thought process or how disgusted she might be feeling even seeing them. But there is no way out since they are her relatives she has to be cordial and adjust. 

Is this what being good really means, because if this means being good and socially acceptable I don't think being good is really worth it.

Yes, you need to be good and considerate for a few people who you are genuinely attached to, that is where your loyalty lies and they are someone who would never hurt you or have your back. It's not blood or family relations that should determine your behaviour. 

And most importantly it's really important for you to be good to one person under any circumstances and that is 'YOU'. No one would probably treat you right other than you yourself. It's really important to understand your experiences and then determine what to react to someone. It's not what you've been taught but it's what you learn in the life and that's what is probably important. It is important to have your views rather than someone teaching you how to be.

In a world of Assholes, if your a comparatively a lesser asshole, trust me it's good. Because you help Karma do it's role and you do your role of being good.

The Most Overrated word- Love

What is love?

“BEST THING THAT CAN EVER HAPPEN”

This has been preached by all. Your parents tell you, your cousins tell you, your friends and the list never ends.

It’s being preached by bollywood and moreover by yogi as well.

We’ve been psyched with the philosophy of love to the extent that we search for nothing but love. 

There are 3 stages of falling in love which no one told us about

1. Crush
2. Liking
3. Love

It’s not crush anymore, it’s just LOVE.

We end up falling in love and especially this generation where love happens every month or probably every day.

I’ll tell you how love can screw up thing for you.

There is a word called ‘RECIPROCATION’

And the issue is no one has ever thought us about a term called ‘RECIPROCATION’

Probably they too were not aware of it.

For any story to be a love story it’s important that this reciprocation happens from both the ends and not just in your thoughts but in reality.

I’ll tell you where this comes from because it gets difficult to digest if you are rejected. Simple we make up our thoughts and think about that person.

The best way to get close to that person is friendship and know her likes and dislikes.

Most of us have a tendency of changing ourselves once we know this. And the problem of loving a person is majorly that you stop loving yourself. You start blaming and introspecting yourself after every argument even though you weren’t wrong.

Heer-Ranjha, Laila- Majnun, Romeo- Juliet classic examples of true love. 

2 things which we didn’t notice about them was 

a) They didn’t end up being together

b) They didn’t have other problems

They loved each other probably because there were only 2 people in this relation.

But now a relation is not between 2 people but it is between a set of people and situations. This might include your partner's ex, your partner's best friend who hates you and probably even those people who pretend to be your partner's well-wisher but secretly want them. There are times where you might feel restless and probably would want to just go and punch them or ask them to stay out of your life, but trust me the only option you have is to deal with them with a smile(obviously fake).

Trust me this is just the beginning of the problem because this is not the only thing that you're worried about there are other things as well.

Obviously, you're not born with a golden spoon like Romeo, or you cannot write poems for your beloved like Majnun and nor are you as privileged as Ranjha that your family will let you play flute all day long. 

We are common people and we have to slog to earn. When I say slog, I mean work hard to meet our deadlines, deal with new projects and not to forget be ready to hear crap from your superiors even after meeting the deadlines that you were expected to.

Your parents anyway don't like the partner that you're dating and would want your relationship to end at the earliest. So they try and bribe you by showing you pictures of girls/boys who they think would be suitable for you.

All of sudden the relation that you've been happy in feels like a burden. There might be times where you would want to be alone, be at peace with yourself but you cannot. You pick your cell phone and call your partner to talk to them because you are aware of 'your partner's ex, your partner's best friend who hate you and those people who pretend to be your partner's well-wisher but secretly want them'. 

You probably compromise yourself to be available for that person even when you don't want to. There's a constant fear of losing the person just because you weren't available.

You might fight hard to be with the person you’ve always wanted and loved. But the harder you fight the faster you lose. 

That special someone loses all her interest and just walks away with a simple line 'I don't think it's working anymore.' 

And you're back to square one with a lot of unanswered questions in your mind that why did end abruptly was it physical aspect or monetary aspect, was I cheated on or did they find a better looking person or was it love that just faded away.

These questions can never be answered and the harder you try to find answers the more you lose yourself. And the saddest part is getting back that smile on your face, being able to be happy again, finding yourself back takes a lot of time.

But probably they're right 'LOVE IS THE BEST THING THAT CAN EVER HAPPEN'

CRUSH..!!!!

'I chose to love you in silence, for in silence I found no rejection. I chose to love you in my dreams, for in my dreams you'll just be mine.'

Yes that's what exactly a crush is and it hurts saying that this is the most underrated term.

This might sound a bit stupid but yeah crushes are more important and tend to have a better story than love.

This is because you any which ways don’t find love. If you love someone they don’t, if they do you don’t. It’s very difficult to find an equilibrium where both love each other.

Crushes are sweet, there’s no pressure of she/he liking you it’s just you and you’re aware of it.

It’s a sweet relation going on in your mind where she/he’s yours. There’s no competition because It’s like your happiness is in your hand unlike people in relation. You don't need him/her to complete your feelings for her

You don’t need to take extra efforts to impress that person or be with that person, live according to that person.

Even if you see him/her once you’re day is made and if that person smiles trust me you can probably spend 2 days thinking about it.

Small things give you happiness and memories. 

Adjusting your time to see him/her, going to the same place for coffee at the same time where that person comes. 

Or probably seeing him/her when through the window, trying to be the mischievous one so that she notices or probably teasing her with some other person because tumhe toh dude lagna hai.

Most of us hate waiting, but trust me waiting for your crush is the best thing.

Probably we all might have experienced it at some point in time maybe in school, college, classes or office.

Remember continuously Looking at the door or window waiting for her, well the weirdest part is the wait ends with a smile on your face.

Also, we try hard to be close to our crush.

Be it sitting next to her in class or probably going in the same area where she is.

And trust me if we’ve had good friends we exactly knew where our crush was.

The longest conversation which we might have held would be a ‘Hi’, ‘All the best’, ‘Congrats’ but even while doing this we might be blushing.

But for our best friends, she was already their ‘bhabhi’

There’s a lot of innocence when it comes to crushes

And the best part about crushes is that they are usually someone who we ourselves know can never be ours.

But since the entire story is just ours we never lose ‘Apne kahani ke hero to hum hi hai..haar thodi sakte hai’

But then there are a few real-life heroes who actually start dating their crush. These people leave us with two important thoughts.

1. Yeh isse patti kaise?
2. Isse acha toh main hu, try kar leta toh mujhse bhi hojata.