Different people, similar story!!

We all believe that we are different from each other. We tend to differentiate ourselves on the basis of caste and more importantly money. Hindu or muslim, christian or sikh, rich or poor, there’s one thing that keeps us on the same page and that is our life.
During one of my training a gentleman said, "One person who you cannot ever lie, is the person you see in the mirror." I thought it would be an experience if I try to do that and I tried doing so. I was standing in front of the mirror with a fake smile, which soon disappeared, my eyes looked tired and after few seconds I could not even smile. I failed miserably and the only thing that I realised and said was, "This is not me, this cannot be me. This is not what I want to be."
This made me realise that except for our face everything was similar. Similar formal shirt, formal pant a bag, the timings and moreover ' OUR STORY'.
Most of us have one thing in common and that is a dissatisfaction towards what we do. Money has been a driving source for all the decisions that we've been making. There might have been a time when your boss comes and shouts at you for something that you haven't even done, there might be thought of leaving the job but you can't because you are already tied up with things which depend on your job.
Some might have a home loan, some education loan and some might wait for another job to come in so that they don't be jobless. Probably most of us are doing something we never wanted to.
We've been trained to adjust to everything be it good or bad, sensible or not, whether you are good at it or not, as long as you are earning you have to believe that you are good at it and if not you have to become good at it. We are asked to excel in a thing which we don't even care about and will never care about.
We've been constantly running a race to become a mediocre person not knowing where to go and why to go. There is no difference between a rich person and a poor, only the lifestyle is different but both are doing things which they wouldn't want to. And finally, we start complaining that our life has been difficult.
In my opinion, the thing which is most difficult is to follow and do what you always wanted to do. No matter you earn less, or initially, if you don't earn, there is a satisfaction which makes you happy. There would be a smile on your face when you see yourself in the mirror because you would be true to yourself. Money comes to you probably sooner or later, but the person lost is lost. 

Suggestions for mediocrity

The only thing which is free in the world other than air is suggestion. In fact, it is so free in nature that it has become a part of everyone's nature.
You want a suggestion or not, you'll have to hear them and will be expected to follow them. There comes a phase, particularly after 10th standard where everyone suddenly becomes  concerned about you. Everyone comes and suggests which field you should choose. After your 12th standard, there are some more suggestions regarding your career and after your graduation some more. This keeps on continuing throughout. The funniest thing is that these suggestions are very generic but the people who suggest behave in such a way that if they wouldn't have given this suggestion you would have been clueless about what to do in life. In fact, most of the suggestions are what we know.
Their suggestions would be like you're in science, study hard to get good marks in your 12th. After that, you can get into engineering or probably become a doctor.
Some of them try to test your patience by giving suggestions. Once, someone came to me and suggested me to do CA, the next day the same person suggested me to do MBA. And I was like, " I'll give you a suggestion, please stop suggesting."
Your parents want you to do something productive in life, which means that they will ask everyone the come across to give you suggestions. Your uncle, aunt, cousins, grandfather, grandmother all start giving suggestions, mostly irrelevant.
I've realised one thing which is imperative to be mentioned, it is always easy to suggest rather than preaching.
Your family would tell someone to pursue something, but if you want to pursue the same thing they would oppose it.
Everyone who suggests tries to take you one step toward a mediocre life. Because there are thousand of people giving similar suggestions and advices.
Throughout my life, I've received one suggestion which wasn't stupid and that was, " IF YOU DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, DON'T SPEND A MINUTE DOING IT."
Probably this is one thing which wouldn't lead to a mediocre life.

GOA- Beyond sex & drugs

GOA, A HELL OF A PLACE.

Alcohol, drugs, prostitution, sex, drug cartels. At least, this is what it has been portrayed as by our relatives, friends and Bollywood. The perception about Goa is so strong that every millennial wants to visit Goa at least once with his/her friends.

And this trip is something every millennial has been making for several years and needless to say it has been an unsuccessful plan.

Whenever you plan to go to Goa and your relatives come to know about it they have a standard reaction, “ bada hogaya hai, aish karega goa jaake hmm.” And your friends would be like, “ Bhai, mast peena udhar aur mere liye bhi koi ladki dhundke aana”

This made me realize two things, 

First, that you’re considered an adult when you plan to go to Goa. Second, your friends think that you’re a drunkard and they are way more confident about you than you are. Your elders think you’re going there to get drunk and take drugs and your friends think you’re going there for sex.

I’ve been to Goa several times, for those who are judging me, I would like to establish a fact that this is not the only thing which can be done there.

Goa is a place where you can be yourself and be rest assured that no one is judging you. There are a lot of nightclubs, alcohol, drugs, however, Goa is way beyond just that.

The people, the culture and the lifestyle are so different that it is a treat to be there. On my recent trip, I witnessed how Diwali was celebrated in Goa. Goans, celebrate Diwali by burning effigies of Narkasur, the demon king who was defeated by Lord Krishna. There are effigies on the road, loud music playing and people dancing on the road. Another festival which is celebrated with grandeur is the carnival which happens somewhere around the month of February or March. Balloons bobbed up in the air and colorful procession featuring horse-drawn carriages, decorated bullock carts, and gorgeously bedecked floats are the highlights of the parade. This parade signifies that Goa comes under the rule of King Momo, who preached " kha, piye aani majja kar."
Beaches, other attraction of Goa is one of the most peaceful places. You can indulge in water sports, go for a swim or probably just lay down on the sunbeds, read a book, listen to music and look at the waves. Sometimes, doing nothing is a better experience. Panjim, the capital of Goa is one place which boasts architectural brilliance. The Portugal architecture with vibrant colors is a treat to watch. 
If you are a shopaholic Goa is a place which would excite you. You'll come across small shops on both the sides of the road selling everything, right from clothes to jewelry. Talking about shopping, Saturday night market is one place where you'll come across a variety of products which are sold by locals and foreigners. Other than this there are performances by bands. Also, you can buy a drink from a bar and enjoy the food. You can also go for shopping at Arambol, one of the uncharted beaches of Goa. The Arambol drum circle and sunset flea market is where you can shop and also enjoy some soothing music. More than the market it is a party, where people bring drums, guitars and meet here every day and make music as the sun sets.
I agree that drugs, prostitution, alcohol are prominent in Goa. However, the beauty of this place lies beyond this.

Extraneous learning

If you are taught to do something without any logic behind it, welcome to INDIAN SOCIETY.

To all those who got offended after reading the first line, I won't be apologetic and I'll try that you understand what I am trying to say. I'll go step by step and probably you'll understand.

Let's start with schooling and college life. 

Remember mathematics, where throughout the years you were taught to find the value of 'x', now this is something no one will ask you find out. Imagine in your professional life your superior coming to you any saying "Please find the value of x by the end of the day or else you'll be sacked." The only time you'll find the value of 'x' is after your breakup.

Second subject which is confusing is Economics, where everyone was tensed because they wanted to pass. However, if you carefully study you'll understand that it made no sense. It had weird comparisons and weird conditions. Sale of wine was being compared with sale of cloth, they had assumed there is no transportation cost, no barriers, only two countries trading, which is not possible in real world. Moreover, every chapter in the end said that the chapter was based on certain assumptions and had limitations, which made the whole chapter meaningless.
Second thing which was taught to us was respecting elders, this again has no relevance. If you go and ask your parents why do we need to respect elders they wouldn't be having any reason. They'll probably tell you have to respect them because they were born before you.You are not taught to respect everyone, you have to respect elders who are your relatives. Also, you have to bend down and touch their feet as a sign of respect. This basically means that you need not respect a person by heart, you can abuse him, but whenever you meet just touch his feet.

And the funniest thing is as you grow up everyone expects you to behave in a sensible way. Now this is something we haven't been taught. We've been taught to behave like a robot and believe what your elders say, you are not allowed to question what is right and wrong. We all are blindfolded and asked to follow what we hear.

Well, I'm not being a critic, but in my opinion respecting people isn't bad, but not everyone who are not worth it. I don't see the need to respect someone who himself doesn't respect others. Probably it would make more sense to respect someone who has earned that, whether he is younger to you or elder.

We cannot blame our parents or our elders for teaching us this, probably even they were taught this by their parents.

It is really important to question our actions, at least so that when we have children we don't teach them to blindly follow someone.

Social media and friendship

Social media has become an integral part of our life. We can't imagine ourselves without social media applications. It has helped us connect with everyone around the world. Moreover, social media has become an indicator of your coolness level. Most of us are busy showing the world what we are doing so that they come to know how cool we are.
Whenever we go it is important to upload a status on social media applications.
Your food arrives, you click a picture and upload it. You go somewhere, you click a picture and upload it and some also share the location of where they are
If you have 1000 followers or friends on instagram or facebook, trust me you have achieved something worth in your life. Everyone would be like " Iske 1000 followers hai yaar".
Once I met my uncle and his friends, who clicked a selfie just so that they could post it on social media.
I have a very close friend, however I am confused now whether are we even friends?
We don't have a picture together that we have posted on a social media account. We haven't tagged each other on any post or status. Moreover, we don't even talk to each other regularly, we don't impose our decisions on each other, we don't fight with each other if we don't meet for months.
Probably people don't even know that we are friends.
I guess we are not friends, because we don't fit into the criteria of being friends.
However, we know and respect each others life and their schedule.We call each other for advice, we call each other whenever we get time because it makes us happy. We don't meet each other regularly, but yes we know we'll be there for each other.
I guess we aren't friends, probably brothers for life. We don't need social media to prove how close we are.
At the end what matters is a friend who is there for us. I don't wish to have 1000 friends on facebook who won't be there for me. I just need few friends who I can rely on throughout my life..!!!

RELATIONS..!!!

RELATIONS
A 7 letter word, but very deep.
To be honest, I'm confused how to consider this word, is it good or bad??
Probably we don't even realize what all we do and how we lose ourselves. Well here's how different relations take you for a ride at least in India.
Your parents want you to become the best so that you do well in life. CA, MBA, Engineering, Doctor, etc and most of us listen to them.
'You want to get into sports and make your career in it but your parents ask you to first get a degree so that you have a backup and can earn well'
Probably this is the only place where more importance is given on the backup.
And as we all know, we end up leaving what we want to do. We just follow them and once you're doing well, your parents get you married.
When you have a spouse your priorities change. You fulfill your responsibilities, have a child, live for your family, fulfill your kid's demand, your spouse's demand. This is the time where we all think of just earning so that we can give them all the leisure that they want. Be it your child's education ot giving the best to your wife.
And then comes a time when you get old, well you can hardly do anything by this time but yes you can probably go to satsang or take care of your grandchildren when you have one or probably think that I wish I would have done that.
Throughout the life which was apparently your life was there a moment which you felt was yours..!!
Take a second think about it, the people you worked for, for whom you did everything to be the best, did you wait for a second to be with them. Do you have any memory where you gave all your time without any worries to either of them
And the most important person who you forgot in this entire thing was YOU. The only way to live is the way you want,the way you always wanted it to be.
You cannot satisfy everyone, you aren't responsible for everyone's happiness. Because there will always be something which would make someone unhappy with your action.
The only person who can be satisfied is you. Do what you feel like, take chances, even if you fail you will be satisfied with a thought that at least you tried. The failure would still give you a sense of satisfaction of doing and failing in what you wanted to.
At least when you're old sitting somewhere with a cup of coffee you will be satisfied that you were you and not a robot living according to others and fulfilling things where you lost your dreams, your aspirations..

PARAMETER OF GROWTH

My last blog spoke about "LOG KYA KAHENGE"
This one talks about a parameter of our growth and success. There is this one special person, who has been inspiring and motivating us to do something in our life. He is none other that "SHARMAJI KA LADKA."
He is someone our parents tell us about and we probably want to be like him or achieve more than what he has. "Sharma ke ladke ko dekh" this line has been in India since a long time.
This reference was given by my grandfather to my father, the same reference was given to my grandfather by my great grandfather. So when my father came and said " Sharma ke ladke ko dekh", I was like Mr. Sharma's son might have been dead because if he's alive he is IMMORTAL and also he's INVISIBLE. If you carefully think he might be next to GOD. Because the only person who is IMMORTAL and INVISIBLE is GOD.
People in other countries make a graph of where they want to see themselves after five years, the generally tend to have an upward graph. We tend to have a flat graph for many years because we are constantly searching for Sharma and his ladka so that we get a direction where we have to go.
He is a parameter to judge our growth.
Whenever I come across any Sharma, I just have one question " kya yeh woh Sharma hai jiska beta perfect hai, jiske baare main sab mujhe bol rahe hai"
This is important because probably I'll get a direction in life.
We are living in a society where we are compared with an invisible person just so that we can do well in life..!!
Well the only two things that I can learn is, never compete with an invisible person or God whoever you think Mr. Sharma ka ladka is.
And second is that competition may be good only if you compete with yourself. You'll probably do well in life if there is no competition with others.Competition might just drain you out, because everyone has a different skill set which they are good at.
IT IS IMPORTANT TO FOCUS ON YOUR SKILL TO BE SUCCESSFUL.